HOW WE INVITE LEARNING IN PUBLIC 101
STEP ONE: We invite anonymity. Is it the idea that matters or the ego of the person saying it?* We learn to divorce the idea from the ego and anonymity helps a lot.
*Yes the messenger matters, and so does their safety.
STEP TWO: We honor time and place. Yes, we need to heal and that space deserves dedication. We differentiate between time and place for productivity and healing spaces. How? Plan for healing spaces like our monthly listening circles and don't allow your productivity to cause harm.
STEP THREE: We take multiple breaks! Is it more than an hour? Take a break. Learning, especially very new material or ideas, requires quiet time to process and for the brain to rewire. And yes, quiet time can be a form of productivity. Slow down.
STEP FOUR: We invite questions at any time! It's not difficult to keep a public list of emerging questions without the need to interrupt that moment. It's good enough to know they will be answered at the right time. Corporate translator: "Let's park it in the lot." Equity translator: "Don't forget you parked it."
STEP FIVE: We maintain a compassionate order. Challenging subjects or content (such as resolution systems and the harm they cause) yearns for a witness, validation, resolution. At the right time find simple, humane, and equal opportunity to share stories, feedback, ideas, thoughts without risking a dominating participant.
STEP SIX: We give good notes. By reducing the need to feel compelled to take notes all the time, we can focus on being present. And, continue our learning on our own time. Provide recordings when appropriate, share slides and notes. 
That's it.

We began as we always do, by invoking our birthright to be connected to each other and the earth and to seek answers through the best of examples: The natural world itself. Nature does not judge creation as ugly, as useless and neither must we judge in destructive ways. We seek new definitions and differentiate between shame / feeling ashamed / justice, and recognize the destructive nature of this imbalance of power, in the name of redirecting energy. To remedy this destructive practice without negating the underlying need we ask, “What is the opposite of shame?” Here is our story of: Triumph, Authenticity, Compassion, Confidence, Acceptance, Love, Empathy, Liberation as told in real time.
No one can deny that shame is intrinsic to defining and upholding white supremacy as taught to us as children, internalized and reinforced throughout our lives. But at the root, at the source of shame is trauma passed along from generation to generation. It’s literally killing us, and each other. Now, at this very moment we stop and question, “Why?” and then “Why?” again and again and again until…We reach the inner, mini-mind shrine, dedicated to the ghost of past, present, and future internalized inferiority hiding in plain sight. And we lay down our offerings to ease the weight and let it go. 
On the pilgrimage to this permanent place of forced humility, we pass through the chorus of the “Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” who insists on whispering in agreement with our oppressors at every turn. We push through them anyways, and yet must stop and pause in front of, “I’m ashamed to be an American,” long enough to glance down to make sure our humanity is still intact and our course correct. It is. Compassion is ever present. This work of compassion and humanity is hard work and may it never be worthy of criticism. Specifically, criticism in the form of shame is always a weapon but our shields grow stronger with knowledge and love of self. 
We crave the enjoyment of our own successes as recognized in full by others; for others to love us as we ought to love ourselves. And in this exchange of valuations, we invite grace by inventing words like, “safe space”, “inclusion”, “welcoming”. But, Lo! We find ourselves re-strategizing in the face of the oppressor masterfully weaponizing the very language of love that we ourselves created! “That’s not what safe space means, Bob.” We must prepare yet again to find our way to the higher road in even more authentic and powerful ways. So we ask, “What does it look like the next time shaming appears?” We made a cheat sheet, to be applied in no particular order other than the right one. Read slowly.

• Don’t take it personally
• We raise the bar and set expectations first to avoid harmful situations!
• Trust ourselves to see red flags
• Be honest, “stick to my guns” while being open to learn and remember, “Right versus Effective”
• We instigate and quietly observe reactions
• We find space with our people (trial and error!)
• We make mantras like, “I’m worthy. I am strong, I am {so much good stuff}. And you can kick rocks.”
• We listen well and know when to agree to disagree. Or just disagree and say, “I don’t like you,” and walk away. Blocked. We have no problem leaving. It. Alone. 
• We learn through feeling our feelings, being uncomfortable invites learning and healing
• Others project their misery onto us because they haven’t waded through it
• We TRIP: Toss, Reframe, Ignore, Preach (credit Bela Gaytán)
• We invite genuine curiosity in ourselves and others.
• We honor those artists and intellectuals who named things for the lion. We too have our story.
• We ask real fucking questions like, “How is that ok for this person and not that person?”
• We say, “Those are not the right words to describe me and your vocab is wonky.”
• We stay grounded in our identity with confidence and love of self! We are the ROCK!
• We uncouple our worthiness from how it’s used by others
• We seek TRUE VALUE and understand the importance of who defines it. ​

We read and listen to: 

• “The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color (The Social Justice Handbook Series)”, by Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT (Author), Jennifer Mullan PsyD (Foreword)
• “You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience”, by Tarana Burke (Editor), Brené Brown (Editor)
• “The Four Agreements Part of: A Toltec Wisdom Book”, by don Miguel Ruiz, Peter Coyote, et al.
• www.adelanteleadership.com, a podcast

​We continue next month, stay in tune and breathe, it's OK. You are loved.

STEP ONE: Humble yourself. Then humble yourself some more. 
Organizations are under some impression that they must be perfect to be trusted. This is false, absolutely false. Why trust someone who always, unequivocally, says they're right? After 75 years of Israeli/Zionist propaganda, brainwashing, and deceit​, It's acceptable that you simply didn't know better, that you were wrong. However, once the information emerges, the excuse of "not knowing better," evaporates. It's genocide rooted in Islamophobia and capitalism, show that you can name it. So how do you say it? Be honest, be specific:

"Organization ABC committed to use the time since October 7th to discover, evidence, and grapple with a wealth of new information about the history and context of the Occupied State of Palestine. We now understand that we are bearing witness to a genocide, to which our silence has tacitly contributed."

STEP TWO: Acknowledge organization's role in harm.
Don't be fooled: Silence is an action. Hollow words are silence. While anti-Jewish/antisemitism is well recognized and swiftly addressed, we failed our Muslim community in providing the same support, humanization, and most importantly now, protection. This is where it gets hard: Self-reflection. If you are here reading this, it's guaranteed that your organization IS Islamophobic. Period. How many gendered stereotypes of Muslims have played out in the organization? How many times were Muslims in the workplace made to feel "othered"? Start with you: What are YOUR personal biases regarding Islam? [TAKE AN IMPLICIT BIAS TEST] So, how do you say it? Be honest and specific:

"We are wrestling, in real time, with our own role in contributing to pervasive harms, specifically around perpetuating Islamophobia both within and outside of the organization. Our silence / initial statement fell [insert strong adjective] short of our ever elevated ideals [or] today feels tone-deaf and uninformed."

STEP THREE: Acknowledge contextual and collective loss.
As a Black, Muslim woman myself and one in diversity/equity/inclusion spaces, I never expect to feel included when it comes to my religion. That is a gross shame on us all. By not inviting thoughts and contributions rooted in spiritual practice, we not only deny ourselves the benefit of a new idea, but one that most likely serves humanity and not just capitalism: Islam has a lot to offer the world. Islam guides its followers to fair and transparent business transactions, honesty, patience,  steadfastness, generosity, creativity, collaboration, selflessness, charity... By denying equality to our Muslim employees, clients, and customers all of humanity loses. So, how do you say it? Be honest and specific:

"We are learning of the great cultural loss caused by marginalizing and fearing Muslims here locally and on the global stage. Muslims, like all people of faith, deserve not only human rights as protected by law, but specifically in this time Muslims deserve the recognition of the harm caused and an offer for its cure."

STEP FOUR: Commit to action. 
In Islam, the word tawah means "forgiveness" and includes a commitment to not repeat the same wrongdoing.  This is another difficult nexus: Where to go from here and, "It's complicated," is a natural reaction. But, you're wrong, it's simple: Do the right thing with what you have. Instead of offering sample language, here you must take stock of your organization's relationship to uncertainty: What will your clients and funders think? Will you be targeted by unseen forces? Will this effect your bottom line? Stop. Stop right there and back up: Do not weigh human life against profit ever again. Now, let us continue with better questions to address uncertainty such as, "How are we able to pivot if necessary to uphold our values?" Simultaneously, consider the following commitments and how they may fit with the "what you have" part:

1. Divest/Invest. Look closer at employee benefit providers and their portfolios. Know your companies. (Note: Depending on your state, publicly boycotting Israel is against the law, proceed with caution) Then, be open to more diverse and ethics-based partnerships, whether they be Islamic/Muslim-owned or not. 
2. Diversify thought. Commit to specific, intentional learning about aspects of Islam that relate specifically to business. While you're at it, take five minutes and learn about Islamic holidays for the calendar. (Ramadan and two Eids also equals new markets btw!)
3. Elevate. Look at those most affected in the organization and create an opportunity to pay them to guide you with their lived experience. 
4. Invite.  Folks make a living by educating folks on Muslim inclusion and Islamophobia. We know them, and you know us so reach out: [email protected].
5. Charity. In Arabic, charity is called zakat and it's fundamental roles serves as one of the five pillars of faith. In the world of industry and commerce, charity also plays an important function: generosity is a good look. Find a single charity that supports Palestinians to which the organization feels a connection. Call them and talk to a person. Make new friends and you will see that it's not actually charity: It's first a duty, and may it blossoms into an investment. 

STEP FIVE: DO NOT say stupid shit.
Re-read whatever you just wrote. Does it sound authentic and appropriate? Look, it's guaranteed that nobody wants to hear these phrases, so re-write without:

• "Thoughts and prayers"
• "Our hearts go out to"
• "Complicated, complex" anything
• "We condemn", "We stand with"
• "Terrorist", "Extremist"
• "Religious", "Jihad"
• "Both sides", "tragic"
• "War", this is a genocide.
• "Hostages", unless you're talking about all hostages including the thousands who are Palestinian.
• "Died", They were massacred, murdered, martyred. 
• "Israel". Try, "Occupying State of Israel" instead.
• Using Muslim/Palestinian/Arab/Gazan interchangeably. Don't. 
• "Antisemitic" because Palestinians are also semitic peoples. Try "Anti-Jewish" if you must but really, today you need to learn how to talk about Islamophobia (which is why you're reading this.)

We are rooting for you. Your organization? Meh, idk, let's see how this goes. But YOU! Be brave and keep taking risks. You are soooo not alone and listen: If this causes discord in the organization, consider the price of your humanity. There is an idea, an organization, a something out there waiting for your shine. That's Equity.
Did this resonate? Doing the right thing starts now, so PAY THE LADY.